The Process

“The Process”

-by Jenny Hays

From the time I was five years old, I have been a goal-oriented person. I have kept detailed notes and journals on my latest desires. When I was young, I wished to become an Olympic rider, later, to lose 25 pounds. I aspired to buy a new home, a horse, pay off debt, find a new career, start an exciting new business, or become a freelance writer. With each new goal came a laser-focus and intensity. Sometimes I achieved success and other times I did not.

However, the goal was always the outcome.

As my ambitions became more challenging, and reaching them began to feel more daunting, I began to read self-help books and articles. I learned that my ambitions were merely dreams without an action-based plan. I put verbs into my sentences and got busy. I put a poster above my work station that said, “Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you will still land among the stars.” I created a visual poster, so I could gaze doggedly at my aspirations during the most difficult hours.

But what if I have had it backwards this entire time? What if the goal was not the outcome, but the process?

After speaking to a friend about this issue, I grew intrigued. What if the process was the goal?

I am currently trying to lose 25 pounds. This achievement has been at the top of my list for years, and was beginning to feel elusive. My focus has always been on how I would look and feel once those pounds were lost. I imaged the stylish clothes I could buy and the new swagger in my step. I placed almost all of my work into achieving the outcome. I put much less effort into the process.

Well, I’d eat fewer calories, I reasoned, and maybe try Pilates.

It turns out that I hated Pilates. The hour-long sessions left me so exhausted that I had little energy for the rest of my day. I also tried Crossfit, before realizing I was actually gaining weight. But yet, through it all, I remained devoted to the outcome.

What if all of my focus was not on the outcome, but the process?

This would require letting go preconceived expectations. Anything could happen and I would have to relinquish control of the result.

As daunting as the task seemed, I was still willing to give it a chance.

I sat down at my computer to write out the process for several key areas in my life. This time, I did not begin the list with expectations. Instead, the goal, in and of itself, was the process.

Each day that I executed the process, I would have achieved success.

I put much more thought into the types of exercise that I enjoy. I planned my meals, I thought about the types of foods that are fun and healthful. I organized my schedule to allow for low-calorie snacks and meals. I created a detailed budget for paying down debt. I carved out time in my day for tidying up at home. Soon, I had a detailed schedule for each day.

I had a process.

I soon began to see my desires as a byproduct of following my routine.  I was beginning to enjoy the process as its own reward. Each day that I have gone to the gym, followed my eating plan, written a new article, cleaned my kitchen, or paid a few dollars toward my credit card bill, I felt empowered.

Letting go of the outcome has been an amazingly difficult task. It meant being at peace with exactly where I am right now: overweight, with a messy kitchen, and with some credit card debt.

It took a moment of shaking hands with the reality of my life, declaring peace, and working every day towards a better tomorrow. It required not having preconceived expectations of any particular result, but enjoying the every day process.

It meant that success could start today, not saved for when a pre-determined outcome had been achieved.