Learning the Hard Way

Because You Said So I didn’t know I was a good writer until you told me that I was. I didn’t know that my hair caught the light until you said that it did. I forgot that my eyes were blue until you reminded me. I didn’t think I was kind, beautiful, or talented. I was not much of anything until you said it was so. Like a vessel with many holes, these words spilled out, leaving me empty again and again. There could never be enough words, so I learned to pour from within. I wasn’t much of anything until I said that I was. The words that mattered were the ones I spoke to myself when no one else could hear them. The words that did not get announced in a Facebook post, in a moment of epiphany, or in thoughtful moments over drinks The words that mattered were the ones I silently whispered to myself at night, but only if no one else spoke them.

Regret I may have made many mistakes, but I pray I will have no regrets. Regret is the shy sister of opportunity that hides in the curtains when company comes, refusing to acknowledge her rare visit. She lies in the shadow of opportunity, waiting until it feels safer and more secure. She wallows in depression, wondering what the outcome could have been if she had been brave enough to take a chance. Regret is pregnant with the possibility of what could have been. It is the potential rejection, failure, growth, and success. It lies dormant in the recesses of our mind, polluting thoughts of happiness or growth.  We’ve lost the loves of our lives; we have been rejected and unloved. We fail, we struggle, and sometimes it comes close to breaking us. But, we never have to face regret or wonder what could have been. Regret is the ultimate in risky behavior because we know when we haven’t reached our full potential. We may fail, but we will dust ourselves off and fail bette...

Dearest Lifetime Fitness Health Club: I wanted to share some experiences I had in your club with various trainers.  Years ago, I was a much stressed out single mom.  I needed to lose quite a bit of weight, so I spent what limited free time and money that I had to join the club.  During a session with a personal trainer, I was told to “keep working it because if you do, someday you are going to be HOT.”  The trainer asked if I were single and then went on to say that I wouldn’t be for long if I kept working out.  I never worked out with this trainer again, but that message stuck with me, especially when I saw so many women coming to the gym in full make-up, exercising almost frantically.  I wondered how many of these women were working so hard, not for their own benefit, but because of this kind of message. A year later, I was able to leave my stressful job and regained my health.  I joined a new club, and began to run.  I didn’t run to find a n...

There Can be No Compromise -Jenny Hays America is known as a land of not only great achievers, but a democracy that prides itself on doing the right thing in times of tribulation, standing up for those who cannot defend themselves, leading the world through calamitous times. However, the very things that we cherish the most are being threatened. How we will react to these challenges will define not only our laws and procedures, but will define us as citizens. Will we stay home on polling day, denying ourselves of the chance to announce to the nation our core values? Will we stay silent when our representatives, those who serve as our voice, spout intolerant and undignified views? Will we elect those who show the world that we can still be a powerful leader and force against evil? Robert Mueller is a Republican who was elected as Special Counsel into investigating possible obstruction and collusion, corruption, in our very highest levels of government. Most leaders trust...

“The Process” -by Jenny Hays From the time I was five years old, I have been a goal-oriented person. I have kept detailed notes and journals on my latest desires. When I was young, I wished to become an Olympic rider, later, to lose 25 pounds. I aspired to buy a new home, a horse, pay off debt, find a new career, start an exciting new business, or become a freelance writer. With each new goal came a laser-focus and intensity. Sometimes I achieved success and other times I did not. However, the goal was always the outcome. As my ambitions became more challenging, and reaching them began to feel more daunting, I began to read self-help books and articles. I learned that my ambitions were merely dreams without an action-based plan. I put verbs into my sentences and got busy. I put a poster above my work station that said, “Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you will still land among the stars.” I created a visual poster, so I could gaze doggedly at my aspirations...

Mama’s Visit Jenny Hays The sun shined through Tommy’s window on a brilliant spring morning. Normally, he would have stayed in bed as long as possible, snuggling deep between his soft sheets before he had to wake up and brush his teeth. This morning, he jumped out of bed and rushed to change his clothes. Downstairs, he could smell Grandma making breakfast, while Grandpa was outside in the backyard with the new dogs. The air was filled with the scent of pancakes and eggs.  He quickly pulled on his jeans and laced up his tennis shoes. Today was a special day. His mom was coming to visit. She was picking him up at nine a.m. sharp and they were going to the carnival in town. Tommy had been thinking about this day for weeks. He and Grandma made a list of all the fun things he and his mom could do together. Tommy grabbed his backpack and raced downstairs. He missed his mom and was so excited that he finally had a chance to see her. He lived wi...

Rejection Rejection is the Baskin Robbins of the emotional world, coming to us in a multitude of varieties. It arrives after an amazing job interview, only to get a rejection letter in the mail. It comes after a promising first date, only to not to be asked out again. We fall in love and are not loved in return. It comes in the form of pink slips, divorce decrees, poor job performance reviews, and unanswered texts. Rejection is universal, but no matter how it arrives, the result is often the same. We sometimes devalue ourselves and are left feeling naked, vulnerable, and alone. I have experienced rejection in many forms, ranging from being rejected by a parent, countless loves, dates, and jobs. There are more tic marks in my failure column than the success. Yet, my reaction was always the same; I doubted myself. I wondered if what they said was true. Maybe I was not beautiful or smart enough, or possibly I didn’t have as much talent. I didn’t feel unique, valued, or special. I...